Chateau De Franklin

We’re all adults here.
We know there isn’t a stork in a USPS hat that drops off little pre-diapered babies at our doorsteps, right?
(Dad, this is your cue to stop reading).
So it should come as no surprise that my husband and I created Declan the old fashion way.
Meaning sex.

We had sex.

But just like those frisky dolphin cousins of ours we like to have said relations recreationally as well.

I know that people say sex goes out the window once you have kids but in our case that just isn’t true.
Sex didn’t leave; it adapted.

Sex Before Declan:

Sexy attire, music playing, and a neat bookshelf.

Sex After Declan:

Pizza with ranch and baseball tees.

-

But with all kidding aside I will say that we have had to get a lot more creative.

I mean, what are you supposed to do when your baby not only co-sleeps but sprawls out over the entire bed?

I’ll tell you what.

We call it Chateau De Franklin.

20140721-220227-79347370.jpg

As you can see, we decided to go full-blown luxury with this baby.

There’s the leopard print side for a flirty night or you can turn it around for a cozy cabin feel.

I’m thinking of opening my own shop on Etsy.

Are you tired of having to restrict sex to the shower while your kid is in the bathroom with you, awkwardly watching?

Do they hog the bed and make it impossible to even scoot to one side and be intimate?

Do you wish you could have your very own space for you and your partner to get down and dirty?

Well now you can with My Sexy Chateau!

Since I’m sure Derek and I are the only parents on the planet that have ever made a sex spot on their floor with a blanket, I don’t think getting it patented will be a problem.

But seriously, you do what you’ve got to do right?

How do you keep intimacy alive after having kids?

What is your sexfession?
Whether you had sex with your kid in the bed or had your dog come up and lick your butt mid sesh, I want you to confess!
(Confession: Both have happened in my home).

Post in the comments or email them to me (amfranklin1016@gmail.com) and I will feature them on my next post.

I changed the settings on here too so if you would prefer to leave your story anonymously you may do so in the comments.

I can’t wait to hear your stories!

Hand, Foot, And Mouth

Sometimes a hazard of being a parent is days on end where you feel like you almost literally cannot breathe.
Bags decide to book an extended vacation underneath your eyelids, patience thins out quicker than an anemic’s blood, and total exhaustion swirls in like a class 5 twister.
I’ve found myself all too familiar with these things for the past few days.
On top of throwing tantrums and being super needy Declan also developed hand, foot, and mouth disease which has only heightened these outbursts.

20140708-190929-68969929.jpg

He has been stuck to me like Morello on Christopher.

20140708-103645-38205862.jpg

And when he doesn’t get his way he becomes Walter White scary.

20140708-104015-38415461.jpg

I’ve found myself whimpering in the middle of the night because he has decided to nurse like a newborn all over again, wearing my nipples down raw and preventing me from getting any sleep.

I know this is a small moment in a large life but it feels never ending when you’re smack dab in the middle of it with no sleep, sore boobs, and a throbbing headache.

My dear friend Amanda recently had a day like this too and what she posted on her blog (here) really helped me change my mindset today.

I still need a nap, some nipple cream, and a glass of wine but remembering that I am not in control and that it’s a good thing is rather comforting.

So Declan, when you’re older and you read this I want you to know that you have put mommy through the ringer this week.
You’ve been dramatic, clingy, overly emotional, and straight up mean at times.
But I love you more than life.
I cherish you more than all the riches in this world.
And we are going to come out of this stronger and happier than ever.

Here’s to getting through the awfulness that is hand, foot, and mouth disease!

I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.

Well, maybe my worst.

20140708-191611-69371433.jpg

Party With D. Franklin

To say my one year old got spoiled for his birth week would be an understatement.

He had a beach trip, Aquarium visit, Farrell’s ice cream dinner, Disneyland day, and a party to top it all off.

10450979_10152535706549414_8627612258377943895_n

10513415_10204077623602987_197691697892052935_n10375082_10204077618802867_5422631965421828137_n

1610776_10152549707559414_2227285332591417246_n

10412034_10152549707164414_217098648211463165_n10527905_10152549706684414_3104422122718900523_n

10530884_10152549706089414_8207267197125319005_n

10462580_10152549706379414_8531289495919123859_n

You would think after all of this fun he would have been pooped by party day but Saturday came and he was ready to go!

The theme I went with was The Great Gatbsy.

Believe it or not, I didĀ not come up with the idea by hours of Pinterest scanning.

Instead it came to me in a daydream while driving one day.

Since it was something I made up I also had to come up with a lot of the crafting ideas by myself.

For the centerpieces I decided to spray paint mason jars gold and hot glue ribbon around them.

Then I added some homemade bows to resemble bow ties.

securedownload

I also (with the help of my cousin) took napkins, plastic silverware, and the same gold bow ribbon from the jars and used them to make bow tie silverware holders.

10463870_10152541783579414_7486844628842960038_n

Of course the only picture I snagged managed to be of an oddly shaped one but you get the idea.

I had the tables pre-set with these beautiful plastic plates from Party City and the bow tie silverware to add the elegant Gatsby feel to the party.

I also got tuxedo party favor boxes from the dollar store andĀ filled them with ring pops and airheads.

I love the way everything came out.

10462990_10152541783639414_5223712132584150493_n

10509497_10152541783289414_3141659912405086725_n

10477376_10152541783179414_2179684740664206173_n

1782072_10152541782964414_5893019245570618674_n

10492061_10152541782904414_7583001310550040064_n

10426885_10152541783059414_486294177121601431_n

attachment-2105918732

I also (with the help of my Apple Genius friend Brian) found this awesome app called Insta Booth that lets you take photo booth style pictures with the Ipad and I set up a little backdrop complete with homemade props for everyone to play with.

10409601_10152541828989414_8236072457595257010_n

10421165_10152541825659414_5191157615256116403_n

My dear friend Amanda custom made Declan’s cakes as a present to us which was incredible.

10418208_10152541785629414_4667272764406806357_n

Did I mention she was on vacation visiting us while she did this AND she’s pregnant?

Uh-mazing.

1979554_10152541786314414_1742905555127608334_n

Declan loved the personal smash cake she made him too!

10439333_10152541787159414_234060666923783501_n

10500539_10152541786514414_4312562378805332305_n

10511344_10152541786839414_4381366468137732424_n

It was such a great bash!

10511163_10152541783359414_1963520546968151661_n

10494792_10152541784139414_5253883953505558156_n

Lots of friends and family showed up, we drank mint juleps and champagne sangria, and by the end of it all little man was exhausted.

Thank you again to everyone who came and celebrated with us!

And sorry (not sorry) for this picture heavy post.

One Year

It was a long day.
We had spent half of it in the car driving home from Pismo beach and the other half doing birthday party crafts.
But last night I found myself unable to peel my sunken, sleep-lusting eyes away from the tiny little being curled up next to me.
It was his last night in the first year of his life.
I knew once I fell asleep the year would be gone forever, and I was having a hard time parting with it.
I wish I could lock away the last 365 days in a steel vault so that I would forever have every moment, every breath.
But memories have already begun to fade, stories already meshing together.
If I can’t remember what we were doing on November 8, 2013 at 4:56 pm now then I’m surely not going to remember in the years to come.
While I cannot tuck away every waking moment I have made it a point to preserve this year the only way I know how.
Through photos, videos, and writing.
Thank you for following my monthly Declan updates, my “I-have-no-idea-what-I’m-doing” parenting moments, and for loving my son.

IMG_62931

Sweet boy:
You are the light of my life and my greatest gift.
Your father and I are abundantly blessed by your presence.
You bring so much joy to everyone who meets you and it has been such a treat to watch you grow.
I am honored to be your mother and I promise to never stop telling you that.
Sometimes life will knock you down and you will feel defeated, but I will always be right there to help pick you up.
Be kind, love fully, and always save room for dessert.
Happy First Birthday Declan Lael!

Love,
Mama

20140626-132921-48561077.jpg

20140626-160513-57913189.jpg

20140626-160514-57914200.jpg

20140626-160512-57912182.jpg

Tonight we are taking Declan to Farrell’s for ice cream, tomorrow is his very first Disneyland trip, and Saturday is his birthday party!
This kid is in for a weekend of partying and I will be sure to report back with lots of photos and stories.
My weekend starts now so I hope everyone has a good one!

20140626-161915-58755179.jpg

A Prisoner Of The Scale, No More

For the first time in 5 1/2 years I told my husband how much I weigh.
Let that sink in a moment.
I have been with Derek for over half a decade and I have never told him my weight.
Not because he just never asked or the subject never came up.
It was because for some bat shit crazy reason I have found myself a prisoner to that number on the scale my entire life.
I literally never told anyone.
Not my husband, not my friends, not my own mother.
But I don’t want to be shackled down by a number anymore.
That shiny metal machine should not define me; I won’t allow it to.
Not ever again.

20140620-100249-36169757.jpg

Don’t you wish our scales looked like this?
Don’t you wish they prompted confidence and self-esteem rather than depression and self-loathing?

When I was 21 I weighed my absolute lowest.
I had just gone through a nasty breakup and went on a liquid diet of booze, booze, and more booze.
The rare times I did eat, it was all fast food trash.

Fast forward to the present.
I weigh 9 lbs. MORE than I did back then but I am healthier, happier, and my body even looks better.

20140624-091242-33162444.jpg

The turning point for me was having a baby.
Obviously I wanted to lose my baby weight, but since I was breastfeeding I started to learn a lot more about nutrition because I needed to make sure I was getting enough nutrients to pass on through my milk.

I had heard about “eating clean” before but I started to actually read up on it and realized that it wasn’t the tasteless diet I thought it would be.

At the same time I saw a Facebook post by friend Noelle who had just completed P90x.
She looked AMAZING and I was sold.

We did the program (I posted about it here, here, and here) and both lost over 20 lbs.

Eating clean and doing P90x completely changed my life.
So when I was approached about becoming a Beachbody coach I was really excited.

Get discounts on the products I love AND get to help motivate other people?
Sign me up!

I started Shakeology and a new workout program called TurboFire three weeks ago and so far I love them both.

TurboFire is a combination of cardio kickboxing and HIIT training videos.
The music is loud and upbeat and the instructor Chalene is full of energy and motivating.
I’ve never had so much fun working out from home and I am literally dripping in sweat after every workout.

20140625-121258-43978514.jpg

As far as Shakeology goes, I have lost two pounds since I started drinking it and I also have way more energy.
Derek and I have both been replacing our breakfasts with it and we have been able to almost completely eliminate coffee from our diets.
The days we haven’t had our shakes we both have noticed a huge drop in our energy as well as overall feeling of healthiness.

And beyond everything else I have a new found confidence which to me, is the greatest thing to come from all of this.
I’m no longer weighed down by self-induced pressure to fit into a certain size or idea of what number the scale should say in order for me to be deemed “skinny”.

So I’m freeing myself.

20140625-122200-44520215.jpg

This number holds no power over me anymore.
I feel healthy.
I feel strong.
I feel confident.

So let’s come together and give a big middle finger to the scale.

Be proud of the weight you lose and the work you put into your fitness, but don’t let that number define you.

<a href="https://lendmeyourkite.files.wordpress.com/2014/06/20140625-132454-48294208.jpg”>20140625-132454-48294208.jpg

And if you would like to join me in a journey the being a stronger, healthier you please do!
I’m in a free Facebook fitness group and I would love to add you.
We share recipes, post daily workouts, and even do weekly challenges.
For me personally, it has really helped hold me accountable and keeps me motivated talking with the other members.
You don’t have to do beachbody workouts or use their products to be part of our group either.
You just have to be committed to getting healthy.
If you’re interested feel free to email me (amfranklin1016@gmail.com), connect on Facebook, or Instagram (@fitformemommy).

Right now is a good time to start taking control of your lifestyle.
I hope you’ll join me!

20140625-131517-47717659.jpg

Surviving Your Friend’s Pregnancy

Let’s face it:
When you get pregnant it affects everyone.
And while it would be awesome if all your friends and family were on the same level of excitement (and misery) as you, it would also be kind of creepy.
It’s like I’m growing a baby right along with you.

Um, no.

But while this post is about you mama, it isn’t for you.
This one goes out to everyone who has been personally victimized by their friend’s pregnancy.
Aka, all of my friends during mine.

SURVIVING YOUR FRIEND’S PREGNANCY

It will start as all days do.
You’ll probably be milking a hangover as you eat a bagel and casually scroll Facebook from the comfort of your bed when you see a post that will stop you in your tracks.

Our family is expanding by two feet!

And then there were three!

We’re pregnant!

You immediately begin the five stages of grief.

Denial: OMG I knew it! I’m so happy for her!

Anger: Wait a minute. Why didn’t she tell me before she announced it on Facebook? What a bitch, she had better not expect me to come to the baby shower.

Bargaining: I should get her a bottle of wine so that she has to drink it with me when she pops that thing out!

Depression: I’m going to end up owning 25 cats and knitting them all sweaters for the harsh California winters.

Acceptance: It’s just a baby. Not like she’s going to change into a completely different person or something.

But of course you’re wrong.
Very, very wrong.

You will start to notice that it physically pains her to talk about anything other than her growing spawn.

And you’re like…

She will begin several sentences by saying,
“I know this is really gross and you probably don’t want to hear it, but…”

Every time you blink there will be a new photo shoot.

She will invite you to her baby gender reveal party and you will secretly wonder why on earth anyone would have an entire event surrounded around finding out what the sex of their baby is.

And you will never look at her the same way again if she makes it a dry party.

Speaking of, “parties” with her will never last past 7:00 pm.

Your days of splitting a cheat dessert after dinner will be long gone.
You turn your head for a moment to grab your fork and she’s already devoured the entire cheesecake slice and now she’s crying uncontrollably because it’s all gone.

Did I mention she will tell you that she misses caffeine every single time she sees you?

When the infamous baby shower comes, you will be at a loss on what to get her.

Does this present say, “Nope. Not bitter at all that I lost my Taco Tuesday PIC.”

And when she finally pops that monster out she will expect you to come to the hospital to visit this weird creature that you have no real attachment to.

You’ll look that little baby in the eyes and uncomfortably say the first thing that comes to mind.

Everyone will laugh, completely unaware that you were 100% serious and your new mom friend will put that tiny little being in your arms.

You’ll be terrified that any move you make will snap it’s neck and put you on death row.

He/She will lock eyes with you and look directly into your soul.

You’ll want to look away because there is way too much shit in there that is not child friendly, but you will find yourself mesmerized by those tiny little eyes attached to that tiny little body.
And for a moment, you will completely get why people decide to have kids.

When the baby is done uncovering your deepest darkest secrets they will then cleanse you of your sins by vomiting all over you.

This will snap you out of your trance and you will be free to leave.

Congratulations, you survived!

Now go enjoy your baby-free life with a trip to the movies.
Or a theme park.
Or a smokey bar with a regular named Patty.
The childless world is your oyster my friend.

Father’s Day

When I fell in love with Derek it was that last night in Vegas, I’m all in kind of love.
We were high on the excitement of each other and drunk on our passionate love.
Only unlike Vegas, we didn’t come home ashamed and broke.
Instead, we were rich with love and found ourselves in a forever honeymoon.
I didn’t think it was possible for love to be any stronger than ours already was.
And then we became parents to our son.

This past (almost) year watching Derek transform from my husband to my husband AND the father of our child has been breathtaking.
I never doubted he would be a wonderful father but I still find myself in awe of him.

I have literally never seen a child in my life get more excited to see their father than Declan does every day when Derek gets home from work.
It’s easy and often expected for a dad to sort of sit on the sidelines and let the mom be the parent.
So I know how fortunate I am to have a partner who is so hands on not because he has to be but because he wants to be.

I have always loved Derek.
But the love I have for him now as I have watched him father our son has surpassed what I ever imagined was possible.

There’s so much more I want to say but I’m finding myself unable to put it into words.
It is very rare for me to be speechless but when it comes to this I just am.
So I will leave you with some photos that speak louder than my words ever could.

Happy Father’s Day my love.

I am honored to parent our child by your side.